One Year has passed

Joshua you are "my brown shiny eyes", "Corazón de Melón" and my "Cutie pie" Mom and Dad loves you!

2020’ was a sad year. I cannot described it another way. It has passed now a full year. We still find it hard to grasp that reality that Joshua is not with us.

We could not find the strength to bury his body; instead, we creamed it and took it with us home. It help us somehow to believe he is not dead. His life just has begun in Heaven.

My sister and my brother-in-law prepared a video for us to celebrate the 10 beautiful years God allowed us to enjoy with him. I have to confess I could not watch it, Bryan did. Maybe one day I can find the courage to watch it myself.

I still cannot look his pictures, watch his videos, or see other kids. It bring me to a sad place, a "hole of self-pity". I do not listen to the voices that question how I deal with my grief. I have learned this past year to take one-step at a time and not to rush the healing process. This pain is just too big to waste it.

Joshua, in this earth, was a boy full of life. He loved life, and he woke up every day ready to eat the world on big bites! He was loving, caring, hard worker and passionate, truly passionate in everything he did.

God tell us in His Word, that our soul does not change in Heaven (Luke 24:39); we have our same personalities. Then Joshua is still the same loving, caring, passionate and full of life, big boy!

He is the same, but without a corrupted body. His body was just a temporary tent he left behind.

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2020’ was a sad year indeed, but it was a year of peace and hope. We felt God’s presence more real this year than any other time in our lives.

Trials bring you closer to God; in a sense, they are blessings.

We felt peace because the prayers or many people; prayers are powerful! (Philippians 4:6-7)

We felt hope, because we Trust God, in His Word. He says that Jesus is coming for His church soon and we will be reunited with Jesus and our love ones in Heaven for eternity. (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18)

During this past year, every time I closed my eyes and think on Joshua, I cried, because I miss him so much, but I remind myself over and over:

I know where he is, I know who he is with, I know he is well look after, I know he is full of joy, peace and happiness, I know this is just a momentary separation, and I know we will see each other again, soon!
I know God knows the time determined for each of us, never too short or too long. When He call us Home, it is the right time.

You have decided the length of our lives.
You know how many months we will live,
and we are not given a minute longer. Job 14:5

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For this New Year, I have to learn patience.

My prayer every night is, Come Lord Jesus!

My friend always reminds me that there are still many people that are not saved, and that we should be patience and think about them more that ourselves (our desire for Jesus to come to take us Home).

I surely need more patience; my dad, my mom and now Joshua are Home. I should have more love (yes, I should) for the people that are not yet saved as the Apostle Paul had.

As long as I’m alive in this body, there is good work for me to do. If I had to choose right now, I hardly know which I’d choose. Hard choice! The desire to break camp here and be with Christ is powerful. Some days I can think of nothing better. A paraphrase version of Philippians 1:22-26

If God can help me with more patience and to care more for the salvation of others. I guess this is going to be another mountain to claim for me (I am not good at either one).

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